The Blessing of Mentors in the Church

Recently I was asked the question, “What does it look like for me to be an example to a younger woman in my church? How can I be of help of in a meaningful way?”

As someone who has experienced encouragement from women within my church community, and some who I would say have had quite an impact in my life, both spiritually and practically, I think this an important question that not only seasoned members in the church can ask, but even someone who is younger, but I’m going to focus on how having a woman you can look up to has been a huge blessing in my life and in what ways this has been done.

Being Intentional

Whether that’s a short text asking me how my week is going, asking what my prayer needs are, or asking how I’m doing when we see each other in church and not just glossing with the typical “Oh, it’s fine!” but actually wanting to hear how my week was and knowing that you care about my spiritual growth is significant. I appreciate when you ask how I’m growing spiritually, even though sometimes I want to avoid the subject altogether if I’m having a challenging week. I appreciate when you share what God has been teaching you in His Word. If I know that you care about my life in a deeper way than just the superficial aspects, and are someone who loves the Lord, I am more likely to open up and share how my week was.

Patience and Understanding

We definitely don’t have it all figured out, and sometimes when we struggle with things we tend to feel absolutely stupid about it. We feel that we should have it all together, but sometimes, well, a lot of times, we just don’t. And we need someone to just come alongside us and say that it’s okay to not be perfect, but that it’s still essential to continue to strive towards godliness, and then to show us how to continue to strive towards godliness. Sometimes that means going over a passage of scripture or a verse. Sometimes it’s sharing a story or experience from your past and how God brought you through it. Sometimes it’s just being a listening ear without being critical and judgmental. Most importantly, it’s reminding us of who God is and the foundational truths of the gospel.

Whether you’re a young mom with little ones, or someone starting college, or working a full-time job, it’s easy to forget how we’re supposed to live when the pressures of the world build up or situations take an unexpected turn and you simply don’t know how to face it, or at least, deal with it with an attitude that reflects who Christ is. Things get overwhelming. Things that may not seem like a big deal to you, is big to someone who’s never been through it before, and admitting that to someone else isn’t easy. However, when you know you will not be mocked for your weaknesses, but to have someone you know will give you biblical counsel, to be a support, and perhaps just help you see the situation in a different light, it is a relief and encouragement in your life.

Be willing to take the time to answer questions. We notice. We appreciate it. We value it. Especially when we know that woman already has a busy schedule, yet she takes the time to sit down and listen and reply in a loving and well-thought out way. Sometimes these simple conversations over text or in person challenge me to question whether I am thinking biblically. I am thankful to say that I have a handful of woman within my church community that I can rely on for sound advice. They have shown me what it means to be a godly woman by the way they act and speak.

Showing Us How You Live

Now, this will not be the same for every situation because everyone is at various stages in their life.

For me, one of the things that is helpful has just being able to watch how my friends interact with others, how they serve, what hospitality looks like. As a single young woman, I sometimes am invited into homes and I just get to hang out and see how families are together. When I get to see how a mother and wife interacts with her family in a godly way, whether it’s through a preparation for a meal, the way she lovingly speaks with her family, and the way she selflessly puts others before herself, it is inspiring and puts into perceptive what qualities I should aim for.

Now, from another perspective, I have several friends who are young moms and I have heard them say how they would just love to have older, more experienced women involved in their lives, especially those who may not have immediate believing family nearby. They want input from godly women. They want the advice and wisdom of woman who have gone through motherhood. If you have the time, and are at a stage of life that you are able, consider investing in the life of a young mom.

But What If They Don’t Want Me Involved? What If I Don’t Have The Skill?

I can’t speak for every young woman out there, but I know that there are those who for sure long for someone to be more involved in their life. If you’re unsure how to figure that out, you can probably start by having small conversations with the young women in your church, start by being more intentional in your conversations.

Or perhaps the idea of mentoring someone just seems too daunting, too much of a commitment, or you don’t feel like you have the wisdom to do that. We’re not asking for perfection. We’re not asking that you officially say “I’ll be a mentor!” We’re not asking that you spend every waking hour with us. The young women who I have heard from just want to learn how to be more of a godly woman. We want to know how to do that in the little things, in the bigger things. We just want to hear from you and what God has taught you.

Now, for the young women who might be reading this, value and cherish the words and time given to you by someone else. Also, if you respect someone and admire a woman in your church, maybe start by asking them how you can pray for them during the week, and don’t be afraid to approach them and asks questions, and thank them for taking them time to be with you.

There is so much we can learn from one another and so many missed opportunities if we sit back and do nothing. God’s given us a community for a reason. It’s meant to be together, not apart. It doesn’t matter what age you are. We shouldn’t neglect the wonderful gifts He has given us because we’re afraid to step out of our comfort zone, but we should try to live in a way that builds one another up in love and unity. We can’t do that if we don’t even try to reach out to others or cultivate the relationships God has given us. So if you aren’t doing so already, who are you going to start encouraging?