How to Pray for One Another
When it comes to living and growing in your faith, you are not in it alone.
One of the wonderful privileges of being part of a church is that your fellow believers take an active role in encouraging you in your faith. Church members care for one another, guide one another, empathize with one another, teach one another, encourage one another, comfort one another and otherwise live out their Christian lives together. This interconnected, mutually-dependent relationship is the product of what God has done through the New Covenant. By his Holy Spirit, he has made us all one spiritual family.
Paul captured the essence of this relationship when he compared the church to a body in 1 Corinthians 12. There he sees each Christian as a member of a body and the body as the church. Each member may be different, with varying functions, but each is dependent on the other and working for the overall health of the body at large. This is a powerful analogy.
Paul develops his comparison by stating that, like body parts, each member is: indispensable (essential to the health of the body); interconnected (suffering and rejoicing with others); interdependent (requiring what every other member contributes to the body); and equal with every other member.
You are part of this body. You have been united together with every other believer, and God has asked you to live out this unity in a special way in the context of your local church. Just as you benefit from the spiritual watchcare of others, you should be busy caring for them as well. When every member functions this way, the body at large grows in health and maturity and Jesus is glorified (Eph 4:16).
As we will see throughout this lesson, in addition to the “one anothers” mentioned above, part of the spiritual watchcare that we are to exercise for one another, includes the discipline of prayer.
“Pray for one another”, James says (James 5:16). That is, speak to God on behalf of your fellow believers. Intercede for others; advocate for others; bear the burdens of others. This is our responsibility as a “royal priesthood”, as Peter puts it (1 Peter 2:9). We all have access to God in prayer, and we all have a responsibility, not just to pray for ourselves, but to bring the needs of others before the throne of grace.
For some of us, we may be convinced of our responsibility to pray for one another, but the question arises - how do we pray for one another? Do we follow the well-worn pattern that exists in most churches which is to pray for others only in times of physical or material distress? Or is there a better way?
How do you pray for others? Do you pray for others? When you pray, do you focus mainly on physical needs? Do you pray for the spiritual growth of others? Are your prayers informed by scripture? Do you sometimes feel that your prayer life is stuck in a rut?
Thankfully, the New Testament is filled with examples of how we should pray for one another. We will examine examples of New Testament prayers and glean guidance in how we should pray for one another. As you learn from these passages, try to make immediate application by changing the focus of your prayers for others. If you have not made it a discipline to pray for others, then you will be off to a great start as you begin to pray for others using the guidance you find here.
What we will find as we look at the prayers of the early church in the New Testament is that there was a heavy emphasis on the spiritual well-being of one another. Yes, there are hints of concern for physical and material needs, but the dominant theme throughout is chiefly spiritual. That’s not to say that the early church did not have a concern for physical suffering or earthly trials, they did. But it is to say that the early church understood that what was most needed in trying times was a faith to endure difficult circumstances. It is for this reason that even when we see prayers offered for the persecuted church, those prayers focus on their perseverance in the faith, and not primarily upon the removal of difficulty. We will see this spiritual priority and eternal perspective dominate in the passages we observe below.
Consider reading the following passages before continuing: Romans 1:8; 1 Corinthians 1:4-8; Ephesians 1:15-16; Philippians 1:3-5; Colossians 1:3-8; 1 Thessalonians 1:2-6; 1 Thessalonians 2:13; 1 Thessalonians 3:9-10; 2 Thessalonians 1:3; 2 Thessalonians 2:13; 2 Timothy 1:3; Philemon 1:4-7
Learning from the prayers of the New Testament among believers, let’s consider some general principles which should guide us as we pray for one another.
1. We Should Pray Prayers of Thanksgiving
“We ought always to give thanks to God for you, brothers, as is right, because your faith is growing abundantly, and the love of every one of you for one another is increasing. Therefore, we ourselves boast about you in the churches of God for your steadfastness and faith in all your persecutions and in the afflictions that you are enduring.” (2 Thessalonians 1:3-4)
The Apostle Paul was a thankful person. In fact, he began each of his letters to the churches (with the exception of Galatians) by telling them that when he prayed, he thanked God for them.
If you’ve read the passages above, you will have noticed that the cause of Paul’s joy and thanksgiving was primarily the spiritual growth of others. He thanked God for their conversion; for the spread of their testimony to others; for their spiritual giftedness; for their love for one another; for their service in gospel ministry; for their endurance of trials; and for their growing faith.
Following Paul’s example, we should thank God in prayer, for one another. The focus of that thanksgiving should be the spiritual life and growth which we see in one another.
We should note that Paul’s thanksgiving was an expression of his joy, and his joy stemmed from his values. Because he valued spiritual things, he rejoiced to see spiritual progress in his fellow believers and that joy spilled over into prayers of thanksgiving. If we are to pray like Paul, we must first share the values of Paul.
Reflect and Pray: Do you share Paul’s spiritual priorities? Is the spiritual growth and enduring faith of others what you desire most for them? Does the spiritual growth of others bring you joy? If so, you will find yourself offering prayers of thanksgiving to God for your fellow believers.
Think of someone right now who has been showing evidence of a growing spiritual life. You can see it in their growing faith, their love for you and other Christians, and their perseverance through difficulties. Pray for this person right now by thanking God for them.
Put Feet to Your Prayers: Once you’ve developed a habit of thanking God for the spiritual growth you see in others, consider finding encouraging ways of actually expressing your thankfulness directly to them. It will be an encouragement to them and will help you further develop a habit of thankfulness.
2. Pray That They Might Increase in Knowledge
“And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God.” (Colossians 1:9-10)
Essential to spiritual maturity is an increasing knowledge of who God is, what he has done for us through Jesus, and what is his will for us. It makes sense then that these ought to be priorities as we pray for others. The ultimate goal of this knowledge, according to Paul’s prayer for the Colossians above, is that we might “walk in a manner worthy of the Lord.” That is, he prayed that they would know God better, so that they could live for God better.
Paul prayed that the Ephesian church would increase in knowledge in a similar way. In chapter 3 of his letter to that church, he wrote that he regularly prayed that they “may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that [they] may be filled with all the fullness of God.” (Eph 3:14-21)
The knowledge which Paul prayed for here is an ever-deepening understanding and appreciation for the love which God had shown them through his Son, Jesus Christ. If we are to pray for our fellow believers to increase in this knowledge, it will include asking God to cause them to more fully understand the love that he has poured upon them, through Jesus. This was the focus of Paul’s prayer in the first chapter of his letter to the believers in Ephesus:
I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers, that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come. And he put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all. (Ephesians 1:16-23)
Paul’s concern in his prayer for the Ephesians is that they would come to know everything that God has given them through the Lord Jesus Christ. Such an increasing knowledge is essential to spiritual growth since a deeper understanding of Christ’s love for us will naturally overflow into an ever-growing love and appreciation for him, from us. This will further help us to be increasingly satisfied in him. When our souls are satisfied by the love of Christ, we are far less likely to try to find satisfaction in other sources, like sin.
Along with this prayer for increasing knowledge of God, we should also pray for our fellow believers to grow in discernment.
Discernment
“And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.” (Philippians 1:9-11)
To increase in discernment is to increase in wisdom regarding what is right and what is wrong (Hebrews 5:12-14). Beyond this, it is the ability to distinguish between what is right and what is almost right. This is clear in Paul’s prayer for the Philippians, since to abound in knowledge and discernment would enable them to “approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless.” Paul was not content to see others settle down into nominalism, but desired that they would go on to spiritual excellence. In order to do this, they would need God to give them knowledge and discernment.
Discernment helps us perceive error when we encounter it. It also helps us to recognize thoughts, attitudes or behaviours which are not helpful to our spiritual growth and purity (Rom 12:2; Eph 5:7-10). As we increase in discernment, we increasingly make right choices regarding what we should believe and do. It is this type of growth that we should desire for ourselves and our fellow believers.
To summarize, as you pray for your fellow believers, pray that they might know God better, comprehend Christ’s love more deeply, and stand for truth more firmly.
Since we, unlike the Colossians, have the completed word of God at our disposal, a prayer like this should include a prayer that our fellow believers develop a love for the word of God and develop a discipline in reading it. After all, it is through the scriptures that we learn exactly who God is, what he has done for us in Jesus, and what is his will for us.
Reflect and Pray: When you pray for others, do you pray that they might know God and his will more fully? Do you pray that God might give them discernment so that they can make right choices regarding what will lead them to spiritual excellence? Do you pray that God would protect them from lukewarmness and lead them to a life of vibrant, growing discipleship?
Think of someone whom you believe is in special need of a deeper knowledge of who God is, what his will is for them, and what he has done for them through Jesus. Pray that they would grow to know and love him more. Think of someone else who seems susceptible to false ideas, or who seems to settle for a lukewarm Christianity. Pray that God might give them a growing discernment and a desire to pursue spiritual excellence.
Put Feet to Your Prayers: Since growing in knowledge and discernment is tied to a growing understanding of the word of God, we can play a very practical role in seeing this prayer answered. Consider how you might be able to help the person you are praying for develop a deeper knowledge of God and his word. Maybe that looks like doing a Bible study together, or simply you encouraging them to engage in the learning opportunities which the church already offers. Pray that they might grow in knowledge while also praying that God would show you how you can help them do so.
3. Pray That They Might Increase in Love
Paul was always thankful and encouraged when he heard of the increasing love of believers toward one another. This, to him, was a clear indication of the Spirit’s presence and work. This thought was not original to Paul of course. Jesus said in John 13:35:
“By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."
In the early church, like today’s church, there were many walls of division which the gospel worked to tear down. Through the gospel, Jews and Gentiles, slaves and masters, upper class and lower class, all became one in Jesus. It’s for this reason that love across boundaries became a distinguishing mark of the church of Jesus Christ. When Paul wanted to gauge the growth of a church, he instinctively looked at how well they were loving one another.
Paul wrote to the church in Ephesus:
“For this reason, because I have heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love towards all the saints, I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers…” (Ephesians 1:15)
Paul was always thankful to hear that the churches were abounding in love because he understood that love was evidence that the believers were filled with the Spirit of God (Gal 5:22ff). Growing Christians love one another (Col 1:4); love their spiritual leaders (1 Thess 5:12-13; Col 1:7-8); and they even love those outside the church (1 Thess 3:12; Luke 6:35). A prayer for believers to love is really a prayer for their overall spiritual health.
When Paul prayed for the Thessalonians, he said:
“Now may our God and Father himself, and our Lord Jesus, direct our way to you, and may the Lord make you increase and abound in love for one another and for all, as we do for you.” (1 Thessalonians 3:11-12)
In Paul’s view, this abounding love was essential to spiritual growth and maturity. After praying that the Thessalonians would increase and abound in love for one another, Paul goes on to show what the result of that abounding love would be:
“...so that [God] may establish your hearts blameless in holiness before our God and Father, at the coming of our Lord Jesus with all his saints.” (1 Thessalonians 3:13)
Love is a sure test of holiness. Paul said that spiritual giftedness; faith to remove mountains; and even martyrdom is nothing if one does not possess love (1 Cor 13:1-3). Love binds every other spiritual virtue together (1 Cor 13:13), and is therefore essential to spiritual maturity.
If we are to pray for the spiritual good of one another, we will pray that we all increase and abound in love.
Reflect and Pray: Do you have a habit of praying for your fellow believers to grow in love? Think of a fellow believer right now whom you believe could benefit from an increased love for others. Maybe they are disconnected or distant from the fellowship of the church. Maybe there are unresolved issues with others that need reconciliation. Whatever the reason, they just don’t seem to abound in love for their fellow Christians. Pray for them, that they might develop and receive such love.
Put Feet to Your Prayers: Hebrews 10:24 tells us to “consider how to stir up one another to love and good works...” This means that we should not only be praying that our brothers and sisters increase in love but that we should be looking for practical ways in which we can encourage one another to grow in love. What are some ways that you could encourage your fellow believers to grow in love? What situations in a fellow believer’s life may prove to be teachable moments whereby you could help them choose to love?
4. Pray That They Might Increase in Fruitfulness
Christians have not been saved by works, but those who are saved, work. That is, the Holy Spirit working in us, motivates and enables us to do works of faith which build up others, and bring glory to the name of Jesus. Such works are evidence of a growing and vibrant faith.
Paul prayed this way for the Christians in Thessalonica:
“To this end we always pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling and may fulfill every resolve for good and every work of faith by his power, so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.” (2 Thessalonians 1:11)
Paul’s desire for the church was that they would be fruitful. He prayed that God would bless their every determination to do good, and make successful their every work of faith. The measure of this success would be “that the name of Jesus would be glorified.”
Paul prayed similarly for the Colossians. He prayed that they might grow in knowledge of God’s will and spiritual wisdom and understanding “so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God…” (Colossians 1:10)
Just as a healthy plant produces fruit, a growing Christian produces fruit. This may be the fruit of Christian character or the fruit of holy living or it may be the fruit of seeing others come to Christ for salvation, or the fruit of seeing others encouraged in their sanctification (Gal 5:22ff; Php 1:11; Phm 6; Heb 10:24). Whatever form the fruit takes, it comes as the result of a believer using God’s means for spiritual growth and their God-given gifts to serve others.
When we pray for our brothers and sisters in Christ, we should pray that God would make them fruitful in their personal spiritual growth (becoming more and more like Jesus), and that he would bless their every effort to serve others. We should pray that they could see the fruitfulness of their efforts and so be encouraged to continue serving God and others.
Reflect and Pray: Do you know a fellow believer who is busy serving Jesus? Maybe they share the gospel with their friends, family, or coworkers. Maybe they are always busy doing acts of service for others. Maybe they teach a class in church. Maybe it is clear that they’ve devoted themselves to pursue the study of God’s word and a life consecrated to him. Maybe it’s a mother who is striving to be purposeful in raising her children to love the Lord. Perhaps it’s a person who is often meeting up with others to encourage them in the faith. When we see others busy serving the Lord, our prayer should be that God would bless their every effort to serve him. We should desire that they see fruit from their labours and so be encouraged to continue serving Christ.
Put Feet to Your Prayers: If you serve in some capacity in the church or if you are active in sharing your faith with others, you know the joy of seeing fruit from your labours. As you pray for others to grow in fruitfulness, consider ways that you could serve alongside of them to help them grow in their own effectiveness. Find ways to champion them in their efforts so that they too can experience the joy of seeing fruit from their labours.
5. Pray That They Might Increase in Endurance
We will all face difficulties, trials and persecutions in this life (1 Thess 3:1-3; 2 Tim 3:12). It is important during these times of testing that our faith remain steadfast and growing. A believer who endures difficulty, persecution, and trials with their faith not only intact, but increasing, shows awesome evidence of the genuineness of their faith. On the other hand, a faith which buckles under pressure brings into question its very authenticity (Matt 13:20-21).
God often uses such trying circumstances for the purpose of strengthening our faith and loosening our grip on this world (1 Pet 1:6-7; Heb 12). But, with these difficult circumstances, God provides everything we need to not only endure, but to thrive (1 Cor 10:13).
Part of God’s provision for a faith which endures suffering, is fellow believers who pray for us while we are struggling. Jesus set this example for us in Luke 22 when he prayed for Peter. He said:
"Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers." (Luke 22:31-32)
Simon Peter’s faith was in Satan’s crosshairs and he needed the prayers of Jesus to see him through. Peter learned an important lesson through this trial and would later write to encourage all believers when they are tested (1 Peter 5:8-10).
Jesus prayed for Peter while his faith was tested and Peter endured. As a result, Peter became an example of faith and a teacher to others. Paul would also follow Jesus’ example and pray that the churches under his watchcare would endure when their faith was tested. He wrote to the Colossians:
“And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God. May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light.” (Colossians 1:9-12)
He wrote also to the church at Thessalonica:
“We ought always to give thanks to God for you, brothers, as is right, because your faith is growing abundantly, and the love of every one of you for one another is increasing. Therefore we ourselves boast about you in the churches of God for your steadfastness and faith in all your persecutions and in the afflictions that you are enduring.” (2 Thessalonians 1:3-4)
Paul was overcome with thankfulness when he heard of the faithful endurance of the churches because he recognized their perseverance as an answer to prayer. Paul continually prayed that the faith of his brothers and sisters in Christ would increase and endure. He understood that he had a responsibility to intercede on their behalf when they were weak. You and I share that same responsibility.
Our brothers and sisters need our strength when they feel weak. They need our prayers when their faith is tested. The strength that you are able to offer to others when they are struggling is the same strength you will need from them when you face similar struggles (2 Cor 1:3-4; James 5:15-16; Gal 6:1-2).
This responsibility goes beyond praying for the faith of others when they face difficulties however. It also includes praying for the enduring faith of those who are immature. This may include those who are physically young like our children or those who are very new to the faith. These people have a fledgling faith with little knowledge of the word of God and little experience as Christians. In the case of a new believer, it is likely that their radical change from their old lifestyle has brought opposition from friends and family. In such cases, they need us to pray for them that their faith would not fail but grow ever stronger (Rom 14:1; Rom 15:1; 1 Thess 5:14).
Reflect and Pray: Can you think of someone who is going through trials, difficulties or persecution? Can you think of someone who is new to the faith? How do you pray for them? Have you considered that this might be a time of weakness for them and that they need the strength of your prayers? Pray for them, that their faith would not fail but would be strengthened through testing.
Put Feet to Your Prayers: When our fellow believers are facing trials or suffering, it is essential that we pray for them. Beyond this however, we should find additional ways to be an emotional and spiritual support to them. Think of some practical ways that you could alleviate some of the pressures that your suffering brother or sister is experiencing. Consider ways that you could help them keep a spiritual focus during this difficult time in their lives.
6. Pray That They Might Increase in Holiness
In Paul’s first letter to the believers in Thessalonica, he wrote:
…may the Lord make you increase and abound in love for one another and for all, as we do for you, so that he may establish your hearts blameless in holiness before our God and Father, at the coming of our Lord Jesus with all his saints. (1 Thessalonians 3:13)
This is really a summation of everything we’ve already seen. As New Covenant believers, we are bound to one another by the Holy Spirit, as one body, as one community, as one household, and as one people of God. For this reason, we have a responsibility to continually exercise spiritual watchcare over one another. The ultimate goal of this mutually encouraging relationship is that we might help one another grow and persevere in the faith so that we might all be found holy and blameless on the day when our Lord returns.
If this is our goal, we will pray continually that our fellow believers might grow in holiness. That is, we will pray that they become increasingly transformed into the image of Jesus while refusing to be conformed to the world (Rom 12:1).
This is an important, if not neglected prayer priority. In a culture where even Christians have become saturated with worldly thinking and stained by its immorality, prayers for holiness are desperately needed.
To be holy is to be set apart from sin and set apart for God’s use (2 Tim 2:21-22). It is to increasingly lose our appetite for sin and worldliness and to grow in our love for what pleases Him. It is to progressively put to death our old sinful ways of thinking and behaving, and to increasingly live as God has commanded us (2 Cor 7:1; Col 3; Eph 4:17-32).
As we pray for our brothers and sisters, we should focus on their personal holiness. We should pray that God would help them overcome sinful habits or desires; to lose their appetite for the impure things of this world; and to develop a greater desire for that which is pure and holy.
When we do this, we will be praying like Paul:
“And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.” (Philippians 1:9-11)
Reflect and Pray: Think of a brother or sister in Christ who seems to have genuine spiritual desires but also seems to be a bit too caught up in the world. Pray that God would give them a greater appetite for holiness and a distaste for this world.
Put Feet to Your Prayers: It would be quite hypocritical to pray that others might be holy if we ourselves are aren’t pursuing holiness. Could you say that you are pursuing spiritual excellence? Do you desire to be more holy? Consider ways that you may have allowed worldliness to creep into your life and how you can better set the example of holiness for others while you pray for them.
Conclusion
Church life is community life. That is, we are not called to live out our faith merely as individuals but within the spiritual community of the church. In other words, God has designed our faith so that we are dependent upon one another.
The corporate nature of our faith is reflected in the “one anothers” which are strewn throughout the New Testament. We are told to love, receive, serve, forbear, forgive, comfort, edify, encourage, prefer, teach, and admonish one another. We are also told to bear one another’s burdens; have compassion upon one another; be courteous towards one another; be kind to one another; submit to one another; and even confess our sins to one another.
So many of these otherwise difficult attitudes become much easier when we are praying for one another. When we make it a habit to pray for someone, we become their advocate, their supporter, and their champion. We are rooting for their spiritual success and are therefore less likely to do or say anything that might become a stumblingblock to their spiritual growth. We are even more likely to overlook faults, and failures which would have otherwise frustrated us. As Peter said, “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8).
You will find that as you pray for your fellow church members, you will begin to love them more. You will begin looking for ways that you can encourage them and so bring about answers to the very prayers that you’ve prayed on their behalf. In this way, praying for one another helps to forge a wonderful unity within the church. A unity which Jesus himself prayed for on our behalf (John 17).
Consider writing down the six headings in this guide and using them to shape your prayers for your brothers and sisters in the church, then look for practical ways that you can be used by God to bring about the answers to those prayers.
